Saturday, December 11, 2010
I can say that two of my goals I have kept... no fast food and no diet drinks or artificial sweetners. I gained the 8 back because I haven't been counting calories and have been eating some sweets here and there. These are the first two things I will fix... taking it one step at a time.
Good news is.. I'M BACK!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
I had a deep discussion with my wife about my recent struggles. She was so supportive and helped vent out all that I had bottled up. Thanks Sweet Heart!
I'm happy to say that these past few days have been very positive for me. I've stopped night eating and I'm feeling more positive about what's ahead of me.
Yesterday I took my kids to a Major League baseball game.. there were many temptations around. But... I only had a sandwich, with some fries... and two bottles of water (at $5 per bottle). There seemed to be dozens of varities of foods available. As you would guess I thought about eating many times throughout the game but I stayed in my seat to avoided temptations. I also thought about the next time I go to a game having more room in the seat (it was a little tight). It was a great, memorable day.
This next week I will be focusing on getting back to counting calories and walking.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I can't even be trusted to go to the food store by myself because I am tempted to buy food to eat on the way home. I went this weekend to pick up stuff to make Fajitas and saw Golden Oreo Double Stuff cookies on a sale rack. I bought them. Got them in the car. Debated whether I should eat them or throw them away. I ended up opening them. I ate one cookie, then another and as I went to grab the third I stopped myself. I felt disgusting. I stopped the car near a garbage can and threw them out. I felt good to do that but soon after I had the urge to stop for something else. It never ends.
Good news though.. The last two nights I haven't had any food after dinner.. no late night eating.
This post is my first step at having a heart to heart with myself about my size and situation. I need to become smaller and healthier. Just because I stopped eating fast food doesn't mean I've really accomplished much. I need to lose 200 pounds and I need to do it as soon as possible.
- Be honest with myself
- Think more often about why I want to lose weight
- Get back to tracking calories
- Start walking every day.
Friday, July 16, 2010
On the positive side.. still haven't had any fast food or diet soda. But I'm not proud of my lack of discipline. So I began counting calories again as a first step. I will also make an effort to walk more each day. One step at a time... have to get back on track.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Thanks again for the continued support.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Thanks to all of you for your supportive comments. I'm on the train, just driving a bit slow right now.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Have I stopped being responsible about my food choices? No.
Have I stopped thinking about losing weight? No.
Have I lost more weight since my last weigh in? No.
I was gung ho the first two months. Then I hit my weight loss hit a wall and at the same time I became distracted by live activities. I can't make excuses though I have to get back to "gung ho" status. Honestly, I've had a few unauthorized snacks here and there but my weight is currently at 409 lbs which is where I was a few weeks ago... and the lowest I've been since I started the journey.
I think about it everyday and I have not had any fast food, diet drinks or free style binges at all. But.. I have to get back to daily recording of calories and exercising. I don't want to spin back up to where I was. I want to go down. I want to be thin. This is the hard time I guess. Getting the second wind. I don't want to fail and I don't want status quo. I want to wear size 36 pants again.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I had a great moment yesterday. I walked 1 mile. Yes a mile. I haven't walked that far for years and I felt great afterwards. I'm going to do the same today and plan to walk at least a mile each day. This should get the metabolism going.
That's all for now. Weigh in next Saturday.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
With baseball season starting soon I'm worried about snack stand resistance. Lots of food landmines there and when I'm rushing to coach an evening game my habit was to eat a few slices of pizza at the snack stand for dinner. I'm going to plan ahead this year and my goal is to not eat any food from the snack bar... we'll maybe coffee but that's a beverage.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
MyNetDiary's software computes my BMR at 3180. WebMD and other web based calculators confirm this number to be about right for my age, height, weight and level of daily activity. I've been very meticulous in recording EVERTHING I eat since I started this journey on 1/6/10. My average per day for the past two weeks has been 1945 calories which means I should be burning 1235 per day, 1 pound every 3 days...RIGHT? So I should have lost about 4 pounds, RIGHT? Well, during the past 14 days I've lost only 1 pound. Why are the numbers off? I've come up with two reasons:
First, I have not been exercising. If I move my ass I will burn calories. It's that simple and I take total responsibility for not following through on this goal. The weather is getting warmer. I will be coaching two baseball teams soon. My activiy level will increase. All good things. But I also need to get into a routine of daily activity. I will work on this.
Second, the BMR calculators are wrong in my case. I have a slower metabolic rate than the average 411 pound, 49 year old, 6 foot man. I have to believe that based on my two week experiment my actual BMR is more like 2000. To prove this I went back in the records (thanks MyNetDiary) and looked at my caloric intake for those weeks when I was shedding pounds a month or so ago. My average intake was 1500 calories per day. Hmmm.. Well numbers don't lie!
BMR calculation software may not be right for everyone as a measuring stick. My BMR is actually around 2000. A 1500 calories intake per day should allow me to burn around 500 calories each day (with activity, more). Which is about 1 pound a week. If I have a day where I go 1600 or even 1700 that will be just fine. But 1700 is the absolute ceiling for me.
I need to get myself in the habit of being active. I will burn more calories and lose more weight when I do this.
The big positive is that I am eating good foods and have not gained any weight back. Trust me, I don't take these two accomplishments for granted. However, I now understand the rate my body burns calories and I will do my best to use this knowledge to achieve my goal.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
My eating habits have been consistent. FogDog's comment has me thinking that I may not be getting enough calories (1500-1900 per day) and my metabolism may be slowing. According to MyNetDairy I need 3200 calories per day to maintain my body weight. I feel like if I ate 3200 calories I would gain weight. It's just too much food. I've thought about stepping it up to 2500 calories per day but I just feel like that's too much food for me as well. I'm going to keep my intake at 2000 per day for the next few weeks and see what happens. I'm also thinking about weighing myself every two weeks. Maybe every week is too often.
Above is my current BMR... I'm focusing on the last sentence of the explaination. I just want to try to keep things as simple as possible so eating right and exercise become natural for me.
I took our dog for a walk on Sunday which was great. I'll be exercising today and Friday. This should help speed things up inside my body.
My new favorite breakfast... 1 cup of diced fresh pineapple with lo-fat vanilla yogurt on it.. and a scrambled egg on the side. It's 326 calories and a good balance of protein, fat and carbs.
That's all for now.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I did have a big loss last week, and I didn't gain any weight which is good. I have to figure out a way to make it a habit to exercise. I have a reminder in my Blackberry that comes up every day at 8am. This week when it popped up I was usually getting ready for a conference call or something and I just pressed "Dismiss". I'm going to try changing the time of my workout and I'm going to ask my kids to stay on me to do it.
I won't give up.. and I will find a way to work exercise into my life.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Well here's one... I want to be interviewed by Sean Anderson! For those of you who may not know, Sean is the author of the blog The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. From time to time Sean interviews people who have reached their goal weight. When I reach my goal weight of 220 lbs I want to spill my guts to Sean on the phone and tell the world how I did it. How I relished in the highs and struggled through the lows of a 212 lbs weight loss trip, long and strange as it may end up being. I can visualize myself right now, on the phone with Sean, answering similar questions that he asked of Anti-Jared and Jack Sh*T. Tears in my eyes as I explain what joy my lifestyle change brought to me and my family. Reciting interesting anecdotes about how I narrowly averted fast food temptations and kicked myself in the ass when I slacked off on my exercise plan.
This would of course mean emerging from anonymity and presenting my face and name to the public (something I plan to do at some point). Why would I want to do this? Why would I want to proclaim my story to Sean? Why would I want people to know what I REALLY went through? Simple answer... I want to pay it forward. In 2012 when I'm a strapping 220 lbs dude who can run 2 miles and race my kids around the back yard I will want that 430 lb guy or gal who is just starting out to have example of how they can do it. How if they stick to a good plan and abandon a life of freestyle eating they can reach their goals. How it can be really hard at times but it's so worth the struggle. How if you change your approach to food you can change your body.
We are all in this together. No BS. The food companies, the restaurants, the work place are all conspiring to make us fat. Just kidding.. I truly believe managing our food intake and exercise activity is what shapes us physically and we control our own destiny. However, we are in this together. We are a community of people who are all fighting a disease called eating addiction. If I can help bring people together and help people find a healthier life I will feel like I have accomplished something even greater than my own transformation. My family, my friends, my fellow bloggers have all helped me and will continue to be there when I need them. I want to make sure I do the same for others long after I reach my goal weight.
So do I really want Sean to interview me when I reach my goal weight? Well, it would be cool because I'm inspired by his blog and I know others would hear the message. But it's not really a goal. Anti-Jared, Diane and Jack Sh*t have done a fine job of telling their tales to Sean and inspiring others including me.
What's most important is that others will have a chance to learn and benefit from what I will go through these next 2 years. For me, imaging and visualizing helping people down the road helps me stay on my mission to become what I want and need to be.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Like last night I attended a fundraising event and had to eat dinner there. They had a small spread which included some pasta, salad and bread. I made myself a moderate plate and enjoyed it. When I got home I was tempted to fore go my usual habit of entering my meals into my Blackberry rationalizing that I was well within my daily limit. But... I caught myself and entered the data.
This is the habit that has made me successful. This is the habit I am going to stay with no matter how much success I have. I can't afford to slack off and trust myself. Remember I am an over eater.. I am addicted to eating. I have to remind myself of this every day in order to stay on track. If I start to stray from this.. I will fail and I don't want to fail.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
This coming week I'm going to keep with the exercise.. at least 3 times and stay with the low sodium deal. I don't expect to lose 5 lbs per week and don't want to but if I can lose 2 or 3 that would be great.
Thanks to every one for your great comments this week. Lots of different opinions on whether or not having food in your stomach is good or bad. I'm going to stay with the plan of not eating after 9:30pm.. this seems pretty sensible to me.
Also, pineapple is an awesome food! Fresh pineapple only has like 70 calories per cup and it is loaded with fiber. I like to dice up a cup and add some low fat vanilla yogurt to it. Really good and about 220 calories.
Lastly, I'm starting to see a few results of my weight loss...
- I wore a suit and overcoat today that felt much looser
- People who I haven't seen since I started this journey have noticed I've lost weight.
- My wedding ring is very loose.
- I'm getting up out of chairs much easier.
- It's becoming easier to put on my socks.
- I'm sleeping better.
- My overall mood is better.
- I feel like I have more energy.
I only have 13 pounds to go to reach my first goal of 399... deadline is April 1. I should be able to cruise into that goal ahead of schedule if I stay with the plan. My next goal will be the 350 mark.
That's all for now.. Stay classy San Diego.. I'm Ron Burgundy? Sorry... thanks for reading and following my blog. Knowing you guys are reading helps keep me on the train. I thank you all for that.
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/EatToLive2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
First, exercising. I'm doing better with this having worked out twice this week already and plans to get two more in before Saturday's weigh in. I have to stay diligent on this and make exercise a habit.
The second has been more difficult for me change... late night eating. For as long as I can remember I've eaten in the late evening while watching TV. I remember when I was a teenager eating Cornflakes or Capt'n Crunch while watching the Honey Mooners at 11pm.
Since I started my weight loss journey I've have limited night eating to a cheese stick or pretzels here, or a biscotti there. But the thought of making a toasted bagel with two slices of American cheese and a big glass of OJ comes into my head as soon as my family goes to bed and I'm in the family room alone watching the tube.
Even on nights when I've had larger than normal dinners and feel very full.. I still have the thought of eating at around 10pm or so. I know I'm not hungry, I know I don't need the food for energy... I just want to eat something... anything.
I've been having a cup of tea with a teaspoon of honey each night which helps to satisfy but I still get the urges. I don't want to go to bed after I've recently ate with food laying in my stomach for 8 hours. I have this thing in my mind that if I do this I won't lose weight... even if the late night eating is within my daily calorie limit. I guess this is the right frame of mind but I hope that someday I won't think about this anymore. I won't have to fight the urge to eat at night and I can be like everyone else.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Notice that I'm calling this a program and not a goal. I am going to do this. I have to. Aside from my eating plan, its the only way I can assist my body with burning fat. Everyday that goes by without exercise is a missed opportunity to reduce my body size. I want to be 220 lbs as soon as possible.. It is my mission.. It is my life.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Saturday, February 13, 2010
This is the first plateau week for me but I'm not going to get discouraged. I know I'm going to face a number of these weeks on the road to 220 lbs and the way I handle this week will be the benchmark for the entire journey.
The one area I've been lacking is exercise. I didn't meet my objective of hitting the treadmill or EA Active every morning before work. I had it programmed as a daily reminder in my Blackberry but when it popped up on the screen I was usually already in work mode and I just hit the dismiss button. I have to get my ass in gear and start moving it.
Also, although I kept my calorie counts under 2000 each day I have been eating after 9:30pm on some nights. Not over eating, but eating light snacks. This ends today. No more eating after 9:30pm. It's #2 of my plan and a very important one. I don't want food laying around in my stomach while I sleep.
I'm going to stay on course, continue to eat healthy foods and keep daily totals at 1800 or less this week.... AND, I'm going move my ass at least 3 times this week. Maybe I need someone like Jack Sh*t or Anti-Jared to kick my ass in this category? Maybe not! I need to develop an "inner asshole guy" who tells me everyday to move my fat ass and burn calories. I'll work on finding him this week.
Friday, February 12, 2010
The first test was a package that arrived yesterday from my parents... three boxes of assorted chocolates for the kids. They were excited, I was appreciative but I was also fearful that I would sneak my way into eating too many of them. I asked my wife to hide them away which she did promptly. It reminded of the movie "Fatso" where they had a cabinet containing sweets and desserts that had a chain and lock on it.
The kids all wanted to offer me a taste but I was told by my youngest (11) that she "doesn't want me over doing it.". I replied "don't worry sweetie, I won't".
Weigh in tomorrow. Two good calories burns snow blowing and shoveling since the last Saturday will hopefully mean a good loss this week. I'll post results tomorrow morning.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Dinner was baked ziti, with sausage and meatballs. I had a moderate portion with some salad and a roll.
For dessert my wife brought a nice fruit salad which of course was my choice. I did have two cookies but avoid a German Black Forrest cake and a chocolate chip cookie cake.
All in all I ate a bit more than normal but I did not over do it. I did have two lite beers but hey man... it's the Super Bowl.
I'll make it up this week by staying on track and exercise. It's suppose to snow Weds so that will be a good calorie burn!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Yesterday I spent close to 2 hours outside doing snow cleanup. I used the snow blower on 2 driveways working at it for about 90 minutes total. MyNetDairy says that I burned 1300 calories. I found another website that said it was about 900. Either way it was a good calorie burn. I can tell because I'm sore as hell this morning. I felt very hungry around 4pm after finishing these activities so I worked a 300 calorie snack into my intake. Didn't feel guilty because I had burnt off so many calories earlier in the day. It was a nice feeling to eat something only because my body needed it.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
As I blogged yesterday I will be stepping up the exercise this coming week. I'll start today by shoveling a bit of snow... my two boys will do most of it. At least I'll be out there burning some calories and using some muscles.
Super Bowl party on the calendar for tomorrow and I'll have to work out a plan for that.
Thanks again for all of your supportive comments.
Friday, February 5, 2010
The bad side of the week is my exercise commitment. I have not lived up to this and I'm really pissed at myself. I've been busy as hell with work but that is no excuse. I have to get active in order to keep the solid losses going each week. I can put aside 15 minutes a day to move my ass. I have to figure out a way to get this into my daily routine.
Here's what I'm going to do. Tomorrow morning after I weigh in I'm going to spend 15 mins with EA Active before I do anything else. Each day I'm going to work these 15 mins in as the first thing I do each day. I see this as the only way to make this a habit. I'm going to put a recurring event in my Blackberry as a reminder. If I let it go until the afternoon or evening I never get to it. Hopefully, this will work.
Weigh In tomorrow... looking forward to that post!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
There are some foods I just can't stop eating. Take swiss cheese for example. I could eat swiss cheese from sun up to sundown. Same thing with pizza, cookies, Capt N' Crunch cereal, pistachios, raisins, hot dogs.. OK most foods.
I know your asking what I'm getting at. Well, I'm trying to get to the bottom of why my brain works this way. Why do certain foods flip a switch in my head that says "eat it all"?
I know there is something in my mental make up that can trigger this behavior. I'm learning how to control it and the urges are happening less often but I know it's still there. I just want to know why. Why did I have this "eat it all" relationship with food?
Maybe it's just an unexplainable addiction that is better left unknown? Could be! But I'm a curious guy.. I like to know these things. Maybe in another month when I've release more fat I won't care why and just be content with the result. However, I feel in order to not repeat the same mistake it may be helpful to know why I behaved this way. I will be searching for the answer the next few weeks and will let you know what I come up with.
To Be Continued...
Monday, February 1, 2010
The appetizers were pepperoni, cheeses, olives, chips, carrots, hummus and a few other things. I stayed mainly with the veggies, had some mozzarella cheese, avoided the chips, had a few pepperoni slices and enjoyed the hummus. I made sure not to over graze on appetizers. Normally I would have eaten enough for a meal at this point and then have a large dinner.
The dinner was an assortment of cold cuts and rolls with an open invitation to build your own monster sandwich. Normally I would have constructed one or two densely packed creations with all the trimmings. This time I stayed away from the rolls and had a few slices of turkey, ham and provolone cheese with some black olives, carrot sticks and artichoke hearts. I did have a small helping of home made mac & cheese, about half a cup.
I have to admit it wasn't easy avoiding the birthday cake. It was one of those commercially made ice cream cakes with those chocolate crunchy things in the middle... very tempting. Nonetheless while others enjoyed large slices I abstained... and felt good about it.
This is the forth party/event I've gone to since starting my new life and all four times I stayed within my plan. This Sunday I have a Super Bowl party to attend and will be developing a plan for that as well.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
I have to say that I've had an epiphany of sorts these past few weeks. While I still feel there are sharks out there waiting to capitalize on the down times of his/her fellow man/woman, I have found a certain solace in the community of bloggers who are focused on becoming more fit and healthy.
When I first found Anti-Jared and started reading the comments to posts I asked myself "these people actually care about this person? they don't even know him?". Then I read the blogs of others who were in the midst of their journeys and saw how many people really cared about the accomplishments and failures of a complete stranger. It was truly amazing and enough to draw me into the community.
Having been an active blogger for all of 20 days now I already feel like a part of the community. The day to day reading of blogs and writing my own has had a profound effect on my attitude adjustment so far and I hope it will continue as I travel down this road.
Rest assured, caring for your fellow man/woman is still alive and well on the world wide web. Thank God!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I downloaded a few podcasts on meditation yesterday (free on iTunes). It's something I would like to try and work into my life.
Thanks for all the supportive comments this past week. I receive a number of emails about the Diet Soda post. I hope it changed a few minds about drinking that crap.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Last Saturday and Sunday my calorie counts were between 2000-2100. For the rest of the week I kept it to 1700-1800 each day. I was told by a friend that following this type of "cycle" would keep my body guessing and help keep my metabolism cranking. We shall see.
If I had exercised more this past week that would have helped too. I'm going to hit the treadmill today which will make it 3 times for the week and meets my goal.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I was a "two can a day" diet soda drinker... Diet Coke, Pepsi, Crush, Fanta, Dr. Pepper, Fresca, Root Beer were all my favorites. I switched to favored seltzer and water which has been fine. When I did drink diet soda I stuck to the caffeine free versions so stopping wasn't really difficult for me. I feel great since I started eating more healthy and I'm sure deleting diet soda from diet has something to do with it.
Lately, I've been on a quest for information that proves the health risks of diet soda. Yesterday while surfing the web I came across an article that I think will be interesting anyone who still drinks diet soda, uses artificial sweeteners and wants to know if there are any health risks associated with them. I let you read the info and decide for yourself but I can tell you this. I will never drink diet soda or use artificial sweeteners again.
Here is the link to the article: Diet Soda - How Healthy Is It?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The area I am lacking in is exercise. I have not lived up to my goals there at all. I need to kick myself in the ass and start moving it at least 3 times a week. I spent $60 on EA Active and have only used it three times in two weeks. Not acceptable. I have a nice treadmill and I've only used it a few times during the past 20 days. No good. I have a dog that I could take for a 15 minute walk a few times a week instead of relying on the electric fence system everyday.
I've change my approach to eating. I have to change my approach to activity.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
On Sunday the Jets lost but I won. I planned my eating day to have 1200 calories in reserve for game time snacks and dinner. I kept to baked potato chips, low fat cheddar cheese and pretzels. Had a nice sandwich for dinner and nice size bowl of mixed fruit for dessert. I did have 2 oatmeal cookies but I had the calories left to do it.
All in all I'm really happy with the way I managed the food at these two events. Normally I would have gorged myself with who knows how many calories. Instead I walked away satisfied both physically and mentally.
Monday, January 25, 2010
In a medium size mixing bowl combine and mix the following:
2 chopped hard boiled eggs
3 chopped hard boiled egg whites
1 chopped stalk of Celery
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon lite mayo
1/2 teaspoon paprika
Serve with 16 Reduced Fat Wheat Thins, 5 carrot sticks and a Sabra hummus single.
Here are the numbers:
Still a little high on the cholesterol but for me having it once it a while is fine. You could remove another egg yolk if you wanted to cut it down even more.
Making food enjoyable is a part of the journey that keeps me on track
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I will be adding to this list as my journey goes on but here is a first crack at the list of things I want to do or will enjoy doing as I slim down and get fit...
- Go snowboarding with my family (hope I don't break a leg)
- Buying nice clothes for decent prices (big clothes are freakin expensive)
- Go for a long bike ride (this should be safe)
- Not having to worry if a chair will hold me (those damn plastic lawn chairs)
- Standing up out of a chair easily (what a joy that will be)
- Running a 5K with my wife (we'll have to see how the knees are)
- Working out with my kids (they can't wait)
- Putting my socks on like a normal person (major process)
- Tying my shoes without straining (also a major process)
- Having a pair of shoes that aren't turned over on the sides (weight distribution)
- Not having to take stair a step at a time (i hate that)
- Fielding a ground ball (love baseball, can't bend over now)
- Swinging a baseball bat (less girth, more movement)
- Playing golf again (was a 12 handicap once, haven't played in 3 years)
- Playing tennis with wife (we use to play, she'll probably kick my ass now)
- Traveling on a plane without bringing my seat belt extender (what a thrill)
- Enjoy being healthier and fit overall (speaks for itself)
- Celebrating when I reach my goal weight (not with food)
- Answering the "Have you lost weight?" question (that will be fun)
- Maintain control over my relationship with food (priority one)
I have a lot to do.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
I have been consistantly meeting all points of my plan except #5. I did exercise a few times last week which is a good start but I have to get this up to 15 minutes daily. I will make this a priority this coming week.
Thanks for all your comments on yesterday's post. It's great to know that so many people care.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Well yesterday I had a business appointment which required me to drive past many temptations to and from my meeting including the infamous White Castle. This time was different though. This time I planned for the potential of being temped by the logo that Madison Avenue had so successfully etched in my brain. I brought with me a tangerine, a bottle of water and a commitment that I would not stop for a snack. But I knew this wouldn't be enough. I took extra precaution to line up a few conference calls so that when I passed the WC logo sign I would be preoccupied with business distractions.
The ride to the appointment was fine. I had just eaten lunch and was mentally preparing for my meeting. I made it there without out a problem but thought about how the ride home might be the problem.
After the meeting I jumped in car and immediately peeled the tangerine thinking that I could eat the sections slowly as I passed a few other obstacles... McDonald's, Burger King, Dunkin Donuts to name a few. This strategy worked well. Then I got on my conf calls which basically lasted the entire ride home.
So I'm pleased to report I jumped a major hurdle and passed the test. I did not Closet Eat today. It's amazing how the mind works though. Do you know that while I was driving 70 mph on that highway, on a conf call discussing business, my eye somehow caught that small White Castle logo at the precise moment I passed that sign? I didn't have time to react because I was preoccupied by the business call. I have to wonder though how I can drive while all this stuff is going through my head.
Anyway... it's a solid victory for a recovering Closet Eater. One last thing... The comments that you guys have left for me on this blog helped me avoid this trap as well. I thought about you while I was driving. I really appreciate all the support. I look forward to the day when I can just drive and not even think about about all this stuff. Hopefully that day will come soon.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I'm also trying to come up with interesting meals that are high in protein and satisfying to taste and appetite. This helps keep my head in the game. I'm also planning my breakfast and lunch based upon what my wife has planned for dinner. In the 49 years I've been on this earth I have NEVER done any of this stuff. As I've written before I was a Freestyle Eater plain and simple.
I'm not patting myself on the back (ok maybe I am a little) but I feel really great about the changes I've made and how my body feels because of them. I haven't had a headache in two weeks which I think is because I gave up diet soda... I was a two soda a day guy before 1/6/10. Now when I eat something I'm thinking about what I'm eating and the effect it's going to have on my body. Where as before I just shoveled the food in until I turned off the light at the end of the night.
I know there will be rocky parts of the journey and I will try to be prepared to navigate through them. But for now I'm immersed in the joy of positive change and it feels great!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
It's real easy to prepare, takes about 5 minutes...
In a medium size mixing bowl combine and mix the following:
1 can of Kirkland Chicken Breast (7oz of meat after draining off water)
1 stalk of Celery
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon lite mayo
1 shot of Tabasco (or to taste)
Serve with 6 Triscuits and a banana
Here are the numbers:
If you want to boost the protein even more you can a chopped boiled egg white (no yolk). This would add 3.5 grams of protein and only 17 calories.
I usually have this at least once per week. I know it's simple but I find it satisfying and very tasty.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The instructions that come along with this award are as follows:
1. Copy the image and display it on your blog.
2. List 10 things that make you happy.
3. Try to do at least one of them today.
4. Pass on the award to 10 bloggers who brighten your day
Here are my 10 things (not necessarily in priority order)...
- Having a wife and kids who I love and who care about me (this is #1).
- Spending time with my family.
- My life overall.
- When my wife achives a goal with running.
- Watching my boys play baseball.
- Listening to my daughter when she explains something she learned.
- Listening to music
- Playing guitar.
- The Jets would really make me happy if they get to the Superbowl!
And the 10 award winning blogs are...
Congrats to all the winners!!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Anyway... We had some people over to watch the game. My wife made great chili as the main course and took great care to have healthy appetizers and fruit for dessert. I did have one Mich Ultra. Also a few pretzels and pita chips with humus but I tried to stick with carrot sticks and boiled shrimp before having a moderate size bowl of chili and two slices of bread.
I kept the calories down for breakfast and lunch to make sure I had headroom for dinner. I did avoid a tray of chocolate chip cookies and opted instead for a nice bowl of mixed fruit. I ate more in quantity than I have in the past 10 days but it was not over the top.
Next week when the Jets play the Colts for the AFC Championship (sorry, I'm a long suffering Jets fan and it's been 12 years since they got this far so I had to type that) I'll be sure to choose wisely if we end up in a party situation again. But more than likely I'll be watching the game with my boys since it's an afternoon game.
I'll be keeping it to 1700 cals per day and I'm going to step up the activity.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Eating addiction is every bit as series as drug addiction. Drug addiction is a terrible thing. I have the deepest admiration for those who have pulled themselves out of the dark hole of drug addiction and I feel sympathy for those stuck in it.
One thing that makes eating addiction very different from drug addiction is that you must eat every day to stay alive, three times a day if you're doing it right. Your brain is programmed from birth to notify you when you're body needs fuel. So even if you think you have broken away from eating addiction the temptations are always there within easy access. Every day there is a chance you might slip back into it. You have to change the way you think.
Eating addiction IS a serious disease and usually results in life threatening situations. I have great respect for those who have changed their lives and broken the chains of food addiction. Reading their blog stories and following their lives has been extremely helpful.
In order to reach my goals and become a fit, healthy person I have to completely break my addiction to eating. I have to eat to live. I'm doing good so far but It's going to take time. My hope is within the next few months I will leave many of the addictive habits, tendencies and thoughts in my rear view mirror. Thanks to those who have commented on my posts and expressed concern and encouragement. Your support has been amazing and extremely helpful.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
A few options crossed my mind like stopping at a diner to get a couple of big chocolate chip cookies, stopping by the convenience store to get some M&Ms or a couple of hot dogs. Closet eating.. Ugh.
I thought if I called my wife to ask her about dinner it would be a good distraction. It was, we were having fajitas for dinner which I make and is one of my favorites. I was sure to take a route home that didn't pass any stores or shops I could stop at. It was a true test and I feel good that I passed it. I also thought about all the people who posted great comments on my "Closet Eating" post and that helped me as well.
Next time I'll take a healthy snack with me in the car just in case.
The fajitas were great... chicken, onions, peppers, small amount of oil, seasoning and one lime. Only had two tortillas. Treated myself to a Michelob Ultra.
Keep total calories for the day to around 1800 today and averted a major Closet Eating side track. Tomorrow is another day.
This coming week I'm going to continue consuming between 1500 and 1700 calories per day. I'm going to watch the sodium intake as well as exercise more. I want to get in the habit of moving my body at least 15 minutes per day as a first goal. I can't simply rely on less food intake. I have to train my mind body through increased activity so when I hit my goal weight I can maintain it for the rest of my life.
Friday, January 15, 2010
I thought it might be a good idea to create a social network that would allow weight loss bloggers and readers to link up easily and use forum discussion and real time chat as added resources.
I created the Weight Loss Bloggers Network for specifically this purpose. You can check it out at: http://weightlossbloggers.ning.com/.
I'll be linking http://www.weightlossbloggers.com/ to the site within the next few days.
Visit Weight Loss Bloggers
As a WLB member you will be able to set up a Profile Page on which you can use the RSS feature to display your most recent blog posts. If you don't have a blog there is a simple blog application that you can use within the network.
I've also incorporated a discussion forum and real-time chat which could be very helpful. There's also private messaging capabilities and many more features.
I will be monitoring the network to make sure the content and activity remains focused on weight loss and healthy living.
It's free to join of course and I hope you will join the Weight Loss Bloggers community and help spread the word to others. The strength of many working together will help us all reach our goals!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Closet Eating is not officially classified as an eating disorder. It's the practice of eating excess amounts of food in secret. I guess it could be a subclass of binge eating which is an official disorder but it's really in a class by itself.
If you think about it there are some deep mental processes going on when your closet eating. Usually you're eating something that's very high calorie, that you really enjoy and that you don't want others to know you are eating. It's the ultimate comfort food oasis.
For example... (my wife reads my blog so.. sorry for the suprise you are about to read sweetie!)
Before the holiday's I had a business meeting about 30 miles away. I left the house in the morning after eating a buttered bagel and glass of OJ. It was an 11am meeting and the company I met with had lunch brought in.
For lunch I had a turkey sandwich, lettuce and tomato with a little mayo and a diet coke. Then grabbed a bag of chips and a couple of cookies. Shouldn't have had the snacks but so far not a bad eating day.
The meeting is over at 2pm so I hop in the car for the 30 mile ride home not even thinking about food or dinner. I have a few calls to make while I'm driving (don't worry I use a blue tooth headset) and I'm focusing on that. When I'm through with my calls I start thinking about what I have to do when I get back to my office (I work at home). Just then I spot a "food & fuel" sign on the side of the highway. You know, the sign that tells you which restaurants you can find at a particular exit. I notice the White Castle logo on the sign and the thought process starts.
This is me thinking now... "White Castle.. man, I'm friggin hungry. I didn't eat a lot today and I haven't had WC in a while. If I stop for some it won't be that bad. When I get home I can just say I had a big lunch and not eat too much dinner." I can taste the WC cheese burger as I'm thinking this.
So I take the exit... drive up to the White Castle and order 5 cheeseburgers (because they are small you always order 5 or so), regular fries and a medium HC-Orange drink. Wow... I just noticed that I'm actually salivating as I describe the food, not good. I pay for the food, park and eat all of it, being very careful not to drip any ketchup or grease on my shirt (evidence). As I eat each cheeseburger I say to myself... "ok I have 4 left, ok I have 3 left....". Before I know it the food is gone. I throw the bag and wrappers in the trash can (getting rid of the evidence) and hit the road to drive home.
A few hours later my wife has a pasta dinner prepared. I sit down and have a large helping of pasta with meatballs and sausage. What happened to my plan of saying that I had a big lunch and wasn't hungry? It went out the window when I found out the dinner was pasta.
Now lets examine. My breakfast, lunch and regularly scheduled dinner were all pretty good. I probably could have had a smaller portion of pasta but even so I was probably at or below 2300 calories which would be fine for a day. What I didn't realize was the number of calories I was taking in when I hit the White Castle... 1,535 calories with 74 grams of fat and 82 grams of sugar. Wow.. that's nearly full day of calories for me now.
On top of this I would do my normal late night eating which probably added at least another 1000 calories. The the net of this all is My family only witnessed 2200 of the nearly 5000 calories I ate that day. Classic Closet Eater.
While this was not a typical day, it was days like these that contributed to me packing on the pounds and I had many days like these. The difference now is when I see the White Castle logo or any other fast food logos I will think about the amount of calories, fats and sugars I will be ingesting if I eat those foods.
Closet eating is my weakness and it was the main contributor to my weight gain. As hard as it will be for me I make a pledge to never closet eat again. I can't.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I like the interface and controllers seem to be well in sync with the onscreen figures. Menus are easy to use and the software is easy to understand.
My goal is to work my way up until the "Easy" workout is truly easy. Then move to the Medium and Hard work outs when appropriate. I haven't explored the "30 Day" program option yet. If they have a level that is appropriate for me I might try that instead.
It would be nice if you could just access each exercise individually to practice them. Maybe you can and I'm missing something. It's a good product and I think it will be very helpful with getting me started on a fitness plan.
- Sodium In Food: My God, it is amazing how much damn sodium there is in processed foods. When I was a "Free Style" eater (eating without regard for caloric or nutritional intake) I never stopped to look at nutrition labels thus I had no idea when I ate 12 Club Crakers I was putting about 400 mgs of sodium into my body. When I had Low Sodium Soup for lunch I was eating about 900 mgs of sodium... low salt aye? To reduce my sodium intake I've had to shy away from processed foods... this is really the easiest way.
- The Calories Sneak Up On You: Even if you think your eating the right things to keep your calories down you might not be. Accurately tracking caloric intake is a must... at least for me. Let's take raisins for example. Back in my Free Style days I would walk past the pantry, grab a handful (about a cup) of raisins and eat them in a few mouthfuls. Never stopping to notice that a cup of raisins is nearly 500 calories. Do this twice a day, which I was very capable of, and your up to 1000... without factoring in any meals. Becoming aware of caloric values by reading labels or using a calorie counting tool is critical to weight loss success, in my humble opinion.
- Tea Is Great: A few weeks ago my sister suggested that I have a cup of tea at night to help with the late night snack craving and provide a natural diuretic. Great idea Sis! A cup of tea has become my evening solace.
- Family Is Key: My family has totally rallied around me with my quest to get slim and fit. They all want to do whatever they can to help me succeed. In turn I want to stay the course to meet my goals. It's a motivational force that I'm lucky to have. I wish I started this years ago.
- Blogging Really Helps: My blog has become my outlet. I place for me to express myself and proclaim goals. To announce triumphs and provide updates on progress. While I've never talked with a therapist before I think it's almost like having one. I think people are reading my blog and are interested in what I am doing. This makes me try my best to stay on track. I don't want to report a failure.
- Set Short Term Goals: It's going to take me 2 years to reach my goal weight of 220 lbs. Having milestone goals along the way will help break up the trip.
- People Really DO Care: When I started my journey I knew my family would be supportive and they sure have been. But when it came to how much the general public would care I tended to be a cynical SOB. Why would someone care about my weight problem? Then I found the community of weight loss bloggers. I had no idea that people on the web, complete strangers I might add, would take such an interest in my efforts. I am constantly floored by the out pour of support I receive. It makes the task easier and has renewed my belief in the positive human spirit.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
We have three kids who are very fit for their ages so there are snack foods in the house which at times call my name. Can't deprive the kids just because of my problem. I've asked my wife to hide most of the more tempting things like cookies and candy. I have managed to stay away from them. However, I could easily slip into the frige and whip up a PB&J sandwich of something to that effect. I haven't but I could.
When I get the urges I tell myself "you did great with your plan today. your at 1500 cals for the day which means you lost weight and you ate good foods.... do you really want to blow it?"
I turn to a cup of tea as the late night treat also. No milk, 1/2 teaspoon of sugar or honey. This seems to soothe the urges. Baby carrot sticks are good too. They have very few calories and taste great. But I have to admit I get the urge to freestyle eat every single night. Maybe I should just go to bed earlier... gee that would be a good idea!
Monday, January 11, 2010
The first and most obvious goal is to weigh in under 400 lbs. That said, I have 28 lbs. to go to reach my first goal of 399 lbs. I'll use 2.5 lbs. loss per week as the factor.. which means 11.2 weeks.. ok we'll call it 12. This puts the date at or around April 1st.
I think I can reach this sooner that April 1 but we'll go with that date and set a new goal if I reach it early. After hitting the 399 mark, the next goal will be 350 lbs.
Invented a new "smoothie" with vanilla protein shack mix (Scivation), 1/2 a banana, frozen strawberries and skim milk. I figured it to be about 220 cals. with 28 grams of protein... tasted like a milk shake.
A light bulb went off that inventing new things to digest would make the journey more fun. I'll be doing more of that.
Thanks to all those who have commented on my posts the past few days. Your encouragement and support really helps.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
For the first few days I did this in my head and kept a running count of calories. This was a good first step but I knew I needed more detail and accuracy. Plus I wanted to know more about my nutritional intake. Then the light bulb went off... "I have this Blackberry Storm, maybe there's a calorie tracking app for it". I check it out and there are a number of them.
I looked at all the free apps and they were well intended but not as detailed and easy to use as I wanted. I wanted an app that I could weave into my daily lifestyle. Something that would allow me to quickly track the foods I eat and the exercise I do. Something that had both web based and mobile access.
Enter MyNetDiary.com. Exactly what I was looking for. A web based service with an easy to use mobile app. It's not a free ($60 per year) but it has all the bells and whistles you would want. I figure $5 a month is well worth it if it helps keep me on track.
I've been using it for a few days and I'm very impressed. For each meal you do a search on the food you eat (thousands of foods), enter the amount you ate and whamo... it's logged. After you exercise you enter that into the Activity section and that gets figured into your daily calorie burn. You can track your weight loss, nutritional intake, get reports and charts... on and on. It also can post updates to Twitter about your meals, activities, weigh ins, etc. Look to the side bar on the right to see a sample.
While entering info is easier on the web interface, the Blackberry Storm interface is pretty darn good. I believe it works with both IPhone and Blackberry. You can check it out at http://www.mynetdiary.com/. I feel good that this will help me. Hope it helps you too.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
More importantly the Jets won!
I don't know if it's mental or physical (or both) but I feel great this morning. The sun is shining and I'm looking forward to a great day. I'm having a nice oatmeal breakfast with a few raisins.
The challenge today will be dinner. We're having people over tonight and my wife is making her killer lasagna... turkey meatballs though which is good. I've already told myself that I'll have a small portion, stay away from the bread, enjoy a nice salad and have fruit for dessert.
This coming week I'm going to focus on keeping the sodium intake down. Now that I'm tracking my intake closely I'm amazed at how much freakin sodium there is in foods. No wonder why so many people have high blood pressure.
That's all for now. Next weigh in is Saturday, Jan 16th.
Go NY Jets!
Friday, January 8, 2010
While this show exploits overeaters by framing a heroic style and admiration around being able to consume massive amounts of unhealthy foods I have to say that I enjoyed watching it regularly before I made a commitment to change my life style. We would watch it as a family and marvel at how this guy could eat so much food. We'd laugh and comment on how good the foods looked and how much we could eat... all bad thoughts... really bad.
Honestly, I'm still tempted to watch it because as crazy as it sounds I get comfort from watching Adam (the host) consume ridiculous amounts of comfort foods. A few nights ago I saw it on the guide and almost tuned it. I caught myself and got a glass of water.
The main reason it's been banned in my house is because after I watch this show I want to eat. Nearly every time I'd watch it I would find myself getting up during a commercial break to get an after dinner snack. Not good.
Sorry Adam, thanks for the entertainment but you're not going to capitalize on my emotional eating problems any longer. I've risen above the realm of food challenges and moved on to reinventing myself. No more Man vs. Food for me... it's now Man Manages Food.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
1. Closely monitor caloric and nutritional intake. Eat three meals a day along with healthy snacks within my daily calorie target.
2. No eating after 9:30pm.
3. No diet soda or processed foods.
4. Drink lots of water.
5. Exercise 15 minutes per day. Be more active overall.
6. Weigh in once a week and chart progress.
7. Report progress, thoughts, etc on this blog.
8. Seek out tools to help me reach my goal weight of 220 lbs.
9. Reach for support from family, friends and bloggers before I reach for a doughnut.
Sticking to this plan will get me to my goal weight.
She is the love of my life and I would not be the person I am without her. BTW, I mean character wise not size wise. She has tried endlessly for the past 20 years to help my big ass lose weight and has been as understanding and supportive as anyone would expect.
A runner and active mom, she is the best thing that ever happen to me (my kids are a close 2nd). This is a girl who trained for 2 years and reached her goal of running a 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles). That blew me away. We plan to go snowboarding together when I reach my goal weight.
To my wife... I love you Sweetie. Thanks for understanding and being supportive especially during those times when I acted like a real asshole because I was so frustrated with my inability to control my eating. This journey of mine to 220 lbs is going to be tough at times and I will need your help to get to my goal. I have no doubt you will be there for me when I need you and I will be there for you too.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
My last weigh in was at my last physical... I clocked in at 385 lbs. I figured I gained some weight since then because I quit smoking two years ago (pat on the back) and have been subtituting food for tobacco.
Well the new number shocked the hell of out me. All this time I was rationalizing that my weight had to be under 400 lbs. Don't ask me how my mind came to that thumbnail conclusion. Man was I off. My current weight is 432 lbs. When I saw that number on the scale I felt a wave of adrenalin come over my body. Like the feeling you get when you make a mistake at work or realize you forgot something important. It was not a good feeling at all.
I feel absolutely huge today. Like a huge floating blimp. But I have to get over that and focus on what needs to be done now. My wife is supportive.. she said "well, now you know what you have to do... look at it as a first step to reaching your goal of 220 lbs.. be positive about it." She is so great! I'm debating whether to tell my kids. They are very interested in my progress but unfortunately I feel embarrased to tell them that they have a Dad who weighs so much.
I face a great challenge. I must lose 212 lbs.... nearly half my body weight. No "ifs" "ands" or "buts". This is an absolute. I must reduce my size. It's a two year project and I have a good start on it.
Thanks to everyone who has posted their support comments over the past few days. It really helps to get to know people who are going through the same challenges.