I can't even be trusted to go to the food store by myself because I am tempted to buy food to eat on the way home. I went this weekend to pick up stuff to make Fajitas and saw Golden Oreo Double Stuff cookies on a sale rack. I bought them. Got them in the car. Debated whether I should eat them or throw them away. I ended up opening them. I ate one cookie, then another and as I went to grab the third I stopped myself. I felt disgusting. I stopped the car near a garbage can and threw them out. I felt good to do that but soon after I had the urge to stop for something else. It never ends.
Good news though.. The last two nights I haven't had any food after dinner.. no late night eating.
This post is my first step at having a heart to heart with myself about my size and situation. I need to become smaller and healthier. Just because I stopped eating fast food doesn't mean I've really accomplished much. I need to lose 200 pounds and I need to do it as soon as possible.
Simple Goals:
- Be honest with myself
- Think more often about why I want to lose weight
- Get back to tracking calories
- Start walking every day.
It's great that you are posting this and facing it. We all have moments where this seems too much, where we feel guilty about some choices that were less than stellar, but there is always a moment to turn things around. You can always make the choice to do something better for yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to get there, take what you've learned and push forward!
Well, step one? Blogging about it. Assembling your support. Nobody said this would be easy. You're breaking a lifetime of bad habits.
ReplyDeleteBut I think you really want to reclaim that earlier fire, because you came back. So, keep coming back. Keep writing. Keep throwing away the cookies. Keep walking a little bit at a time. Don't give up. Don't ever give up.
(((((HUG))))) for support! When you describe your compulsion to eat the wrong kinds of foods, it reminds me of when I was quitting smoking. I would buy a pack of cigarettes, smoke one or two and then throw the rest of them away. It's hard to change habits when it involves things we like. Do you follow the Eat To Live way of eating? Are you following the 6 week challenge? Lori
ReplyDeleteSo, good to see you with goals, how have you done on them since posting this?
ReplyDeleteHang in there.. I feel like I'm getting back on track every day it seems. Your 4 goals are good. I encourage you to journal..either blog journal or paper journal.
ReplyDeleteHi, I found your blog through Weight Loss Bloggers. I know what you're going through is rough. It really is easier to overeat than have the self-discipline but a wise person said, losing weight is hard, being fat is hard. Pick your "hard". Eventually you'll learn that you don't have to give up food or the enjoyment of food in order to lose all that weight. Trust me, I've learned this and I've lost 85 pounds. I used to agonize over the thought of having to starve myself and never again enjoy good food but I was -wrong-. You just learn to enjoy it in moderation and with self-control. By the way, congratulations on giving up fast food. I gave it up six years ago and that was one of the smartest things you can do!
ReplyDeleteJust came across your blog. Sounds like you're struggling like I am, and you recognize that right away. I did great for the first 7 months, then nothing because I started slipping back into my old habits.
ReplyDeleteRight now, I'm slowly working on writing up my small goals slowly getting back on track, but it's been a long time coming.
I hope you're able to get back on track!
Dear Mr. Eat to Live,
ReplyDeleteMrs. Fatass sent me over. I'm sorry to read that you are struggling. I was struggling a lot last week after a wonderful, food-filled visit with loved ones left me off track and having a hell of a time getting back on track. For me the key was to keep moving...minimum 30 minutes of some kind of exercise 6 days a week. No excuses. And of course, create a calorie deficit. If I CHOSE to eat that scoop of ice cream, it was written down and counted in my daily calories. I know you know this. We all do. And that doesn't mean it doesn't feel like climbing a mountain every day. But you can climb that mountain one small step at a time. You made a great choice when you tossed that package of cookies. You've set realistic goals for yourself. You can do this.
Hi, I was sent here by a fellow blogger. I know there are hard days, but take one day at a time, I mess up too! But I start over the next day.
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm a new reader to your blog. I wanted to tell you to be kind to yourself. It's kind of funny, because I have trouble being kind to myself, but I can immediately see when others aren't being kind to themselves. Anyway. I noticed that back in April you blogged a few times that month. but it's slowed down to now just once a month. I know when I'm not doing well, I avoid my blog and go into isolation. So maybe it would help you to blog more? Just a thought. Lauren
ReplyDeleteThis is my fist time reading your blog. I have a lot to lose as well (250+ pounds to lose). I know your struggles. Throwing out the cookies was a huge accomplishment. I know there are 100's of temptations/food battles just like that everyday, each one you conquer makes you stronger for the next one. The goals you have set are key. Best wishes.
ReplyDelete