Thursday, May 17, 2012

Day 34 (425-9) Grinding Through The Tough Times

We all have tough days. You know... those days when multiple issues hit you all at once and cause a storm of stress, aggravation and yes.. maybe even anger.   Well yesterday was one of those days for me.

The day was going fine.. a little stressful at work.  Then suddenly a few personal problems popped up, one thing led to another and I found myself in a VERY aggravated state.  While in this state I found myself battling the urge to run for cover.  What I mean is the urge to run to food for comfort and relief.

I was sitting at the table after a nice dinner of Dreamfield pasta, turkey meat balls and an Italian sausage.  I was completely satisfied from the food I had just eaten and doing perfectly on my calorie count for the day.  I had even taken a 10 minute walk early in the afternoon with my son.   But as the storm of aggravation hit I found myself thinking about and starting to plan what I could eat after everyone had gone to bed.   I was thinking about making a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a tall glass of milk and a few other of my former late night standard meals (not snacks). That's right... thinking about this minutes after I had finished eating dinner.

Thankfully with a little venting via my wife I was able to gain control of my emotions and the urge to eat.  They stayed with me until my head hit the pillow last night but I was able pull back the reigns and avoid opening the refrigerator. 

When I woke up this morning I felt pretty good about what I had accomplished.  I had fought and won a battle that my former self would have easily succumbed to.   For the "old me" it would have been 2 PBJs, a bowl of cereal and maybe some ice cream.  For "new me" it was watching baseball, talking with my wife, texting with my sister and no food.  I still had 100 calories left and could have had a piece of fruit but wanted to put food out of my mind last night.  I didn't want to run to it any more.  Remember.. I broke up with food last week.

The lesson for me here is that while my mind is still running a version of software that has the "run to food" routine running I can be strong and resist the temptation.  Last night I consciously re-routed the code in my head and avoided stress eating.  It will take time to upgrade my brain but eventually I'll be running Version 2 which hopefully will have the "run for food" routine removed.  OK.. I was a software designer at one time in my life so pardon the programming analogies.

Taking it one day at a time...


1 comment:

  1. To me, this is crucial! Slowing the impulse down long enough to have the mental discussion with yourself about why you should not give in to the impulse. I always have the discussion with myself, but AFTER I eat the food and felt better. Before is the struggle for sure. Excellent work!!