Day 12 (428.5) No One To Blame But Myself

Can I blame my job for adding stress to my life and causing me to eat for comfort?  Can  blame my parents for not instilling good eating habits when I was young?   Can I blame the food industry and capitalism for spawning the creation of high calories, low nutrition, fast and processed foods that can be mindlessly consumed with ease?   These are all questions I've asked myself and rationalizations I've made in the past.   Well I realize now that the answer is, NO, because I have no one to blame but myself.

Being obese is a choice.  In the past I choose to eat 4 slices of pizza when I could have had 2.   I choose to stop at Burger King and drink a large vanilla shake an hour before dinner when I could have had a protein bar and a bottle of spring water.  I choose to eat foods loaded with sugar and carbs in the privacy of my car, hiding my food addiction from my family and friends.   Since I made these choices I can't blame anyway but myself for the results.

Now for the good news..   I can and will do something about it.  I will correct the terrible eating habits I've developed during the first 50 years of my life and vow to maintain healthy eating habits for the remainder of my time on earth.   I have been successful in every other aspect of my life except for my body size and eating habits.  I will win this one too.

It's time take responsibility and move forward in a positive manner with the end goal of living well in a healthy, happy, 220 lbs body!

ETL

Thoughts and Goals - My New Life in 2010

I am a middle aged American man who is extremely obese. I have a wonderful family who I love very much and they love me as well. I have battled with food addiction my entire life growing up in a family that saw food as a comfort rather than a source of energy. I want to break from my food addiction problem and someday have a healthy lifestyle. I have a lot of weight to lose... maybe 200 pounds. I can't really say for sure because sadly I don't have a scale that measures up to my weight but I would venture to say I am at least 400 pounds if not more. However I know how I want my body to be and that's where I want to get to.

My family wants me to be around to see my kids grow up. I want the same.

I have started this blog as a way to express my feelings and thoughts. I hope it will be therapy for me as I venture into this new life. I also hope that anyone who reads this will find it as inspiration.

I have to stop turning to foods for comfort when work is stressful or when I'm worried about something. I have to learn to eat to live.... not live to eat. I'm a smart guy and I should be able to figure this out.

I will begin on January 1st, 2010. My initial plan is to:

1. Exercise at least 15 minutes per day. i will start out by walking on the tread mill three times a day for 5 minutes each time.

2. Reduce the amount of bread and bread like foods from my diet. I have a serious addiction to breads and this I think will help.

3. No more eating after dinner. I have a bad habit of eating after my family has gone to bed. This is not good. After 1/1/2010... once I finish dinner I am done eating for the day.

4. Eat only what my wife prepares. I have been doing this for a while now but have to cut out anything in between meals.

5. If I have to eat out, eat healthy. I have a tendency to use eating out as the excuse to eat unhealthy or fattening foods. This has to stop.

My goal for 2010 is to lose enough weight to where I am feeling like I can move again. Where the simple movements are natural again. In 12 months I would like to lose 75 pounds. I think that if I follow these steps I have a good chance of obtaining my goals.

Why do I want to lose weight?

So I can extend my life and live to see my kids grow up and have a great life with my wife.

So I can easily walk to wherever I have to go.

So I am not embarassed when my clothes don't fit

So I can travel on an airplane without having to use a seat belt extender. I have my own but it's still embarassing to have to squeeze into those tiny seats and hold my breath while I buckle up.

So am not always thinking that my kids are embarrased of me.

So I can fit into any car and use the seatbelt.

So I can go to a pro sports game and fit into the seat.

So I can wear nice, stylish clothes.

So I can love myself again. Don't get me wrong.. I like myself... but I don't love myself. I want to be comfortable in my body again.

That's it for now... Holiday dinners coming up. Will post on that separetly.

ETL2010