Day 1 (438-0) Another New Beginning

This morning I woke up and did something that I've been avoiding for about a month... I weighed myself.  I knew I gained weight and figured I was at least back to my starting point.  WRONG.. I'm 4 pounds over my previous starting point.

Why?  Eating the wrong foods while traveling over the summer to various events.   Sneaking visits to the local convenience store or concession stands at games for a snack.  Eating at home in between meals.  Eating after dinner when everyone has gone to bed. Not exercising.  And last but not least (and probably worst of all) not keeping track of caloric intake.    Basically. I'm free style eating again.

I caught myself... I'm going to restart as of today and I'm not going to do any of these things anymore.  I can't allow my eating disorder to dictate my mobility, happiness, relationships, self-esteem, state of mind... basically my LIFE.

So today is Day 1.  As of today I'm getting real with myself.  I'm going to be sensible and honest about what I eat and when I eat.  Track 1600 calories per day as my limit (I just entered my breakfast of 310 cals).  More protein than carbs and low fat.  No more rationalization of food choices.

I don't want to be in this body anymore.  I have to create a new body.  I want a body that can walk 2 miles without having to sit down every 1/4 mile.  I want a body that can wear nice clothes and shoes.  I want a body that doesn't have to worry about fitting into chairs that are designed for the majority of the population. I want a body that can do all the things I should be doing that I can't do now.   I want a body that will allow me to lead A NORMAL LIFE!!!!

It's not going to happen through magic.  I have to do it.  I have to manage what I eat and do.  I have to stay focused and stick with the plan.  I have to keep it fresh in my mind why I tend to do what I do with food.   I want to do all of these things. I want to change more than anything.

Borrowing from Sean Anderson..  "This time, the last time—I simplified by focusing on three absolutes everyday: Staying within my calorie budget, doing some kind of exercise and writing out how I was feeling along the way. As long as I did those three things, all of the other things I stressed over before, would work out along the way."

ETL

Day 63 (426-8) Need To Get Real

Its been 63 days since I've started my transformation and I've only lost 8 pounds. Time to be honest with myself. I have not exercised. I have slipped in food here and there that put me over my daily calorie max. Not a lot but I've done it. If I continue on this path I won't lose weight.

Have I been watching my portions? Yes. Have I been watching calories for actual meals? Yes. But I think I should have lost more than 8 pounds in 2 months. So here's what I'm going to do...

From this day forward..

- No more than 1600 calories per day.
- At least 10 minutes of walking per day. Work up to 15 minutes.

After two weeks of this I'll see what the results are.

ETL

Day 56 (426-8) Back On The Train!

I took the liberty of an early weigh in today and was happy to see that I shed the weight I had put back on last week.  I'm pretty sure I can attribute this to drinking 64oz+ per day and staying very close to 1700 cals per day.  I'm now going to work on lowering carb intake to about 70-80 grams per day.   This won't be easy but I think if I can maintain this my weight loss will be more consistent.

This weekend will be a challenge for me.  My son has three ball games on Saturday and we'll likely be eating lunch and dinner on the road.  I plan to pack lunch and if we stop for dinner I'll order something sensible that's within my plan.   This will be the normal mode of operation for most of the weekends this summer so its important I establish good habits right out of the gate.

Looking forward to more downward movement on the scale as the days continue..

Good choices, self truth.

ETL

Day 51 (429-5) WTF Happened?

This week's weigh in did not go as planned.  I've gained 3 pounds since last Saturday.  I did a sneak peak on Thursday and I was up to 427 so I was thinking I would have a zero sum week.  But that didn't happened.  I was forced to self-analyze this morning.

1. On Wednesday on the way to a ball game I stopped at a convenience store and eat a few things I shouldn't have.  A large soft pretzel, a bag of Chex Mix, some oatmeal raisin cookies and a small bag of beef jerky.  When I got home that night I was too full to eat much of the pasta dinner my Wife had made.   I didn't enter the store bought calories into mynetdiary and mentally thought I would make up for it the next couple of days. 
2. I have been going over the 1700 per day calorie plan.  Not by a huge amount but probably 200-300 calories per day.  I'm also not really making sure my Fat Carb Protein ratios are on each day.
3. I haven't been drinking enough water each day.  Maybe 32 oz tops.  I need to drink at least 64oz.
4. I haven't been doing much walking.  I really have to walk every day.

So.  I can't let #1 happen.  This was a total blunder and I have to come up with methods that will prevent me from doing this.  Why did I do it?  Stress I guess.  Tough day at work, other stuff.

For #2 I need to get real with myself and stick to the plan. I thought I could go over the 1700 because I lost weight when I was eating 2300 but I don't think that's the case at all.  I need to stick to the number each day.

To take care of #3 I have a 32 oz water bottle which I will fill and drink at least twice a day.   

And last but not least I have to find a way to motivate myself to combat #4.  It's not easy to move my body but I have to start doing it.

Also, I think my body was still reacting to the last weekends "feasting".  I did eat many foods that I hadn't had in a while.

The good thing is that I realized this is an issue.  I caught it and I'm going to do something about it.   I really felt terrible when I saw the number on the scale and as I write this post I feel anger.  I feel like I let myself down.  I didn't make good choices and I wasn't honest with myself.  But I have to move past this and get with the program.

Good choice, Self-Honesty.

ETL

Day 46 (426-8) Four Days Of Holiday Foods

Are you ready for this...Thursday night a BBQ, Friday night out to dinner with friends, Saturday night out to a friends house for another BBQ and Sunday over to my Sisters for yet another party.   How many temptations were there?  PLENTY.   In the past this would be just the kind of thing that would set me right back into old eating ways.     Life's stress and other factors giving me the rationale to say "What the hell, I'm eating that __(fill in the blank)_."  I could have slipped right back into free style eating. BUT.. I didn't.

I ate sensible at breakfast and lunch leaving enough in the calorie bank for dinner. At those dinners I ate moderate portions of foods that I felt would be right along the lines of what I should be eating. I even had a few light beers.  I may have gone a bit over 1700 each day but not much.  I stayed away from desserts for the most part... I had a small portion of some goodies at one of the BBQs but not enough to throw myself into a spiral.  

I was a bit concerned yesterday morning when I snuck in a weigh in and found myself up 3 pounds after one day.  But I'm happy to report that as of this morning most of that weight is gone... water weight for the most part.

I've learned a very important lesson over the past 4 days.  I can function in situations where there is abundant food.  I can manage my portions and plan out what I'm going to eat.  I can wake up the next day not feeling guilty about eating a few treats because I ate in a sensible manner.

So let's just consider this holiday weekend a re-feed.   This morning I'm back to the plan.. Greek yogurt mixed with Kashi lean cereal then planning sensible eating throughout the day.

Good choices, Self-Truth.

ETL

Day 44 (426-8) Weigh In. No Change

A bit of a bummer this morning when the scale showed the same number as last week but that's the way it goes I guess. Last night I went out to dinner with friends and had a very sensible meal which I was proud of. I'm going you BBQ tonight and I'm prepared to be diligent. Let's see if this week I can get more exercise in and get the scale to move down a few notches. ETL

Day 42 (426-8) Sneaked A Weigh In

I woke up curious and had to weigh myself this morning.  My suspicions that I described yesterday were unfounded.  I remain at 426 which I'm happy about.  Hopefully, I experience a "wooosh" before Saturday's official weigh in and record a loss for this week.. If not, so be it.  It's a long journey and I have to be ready to handle the pace of progress.  The important thing is that my eating habits are changing for the better and I'm winning the food addiction battles as they come along.

ETL

Day 41 (426-8) Staying On Course And Planning Ahead

I haven't weighed myself but I don't feel like I've lost any weight since Saturday.  I guess this feedback is coming from the way my clothes are fitting the past few days.   I've been eating between 1700 and 1900 calories per day which I feel should be a good range for me.  I've been doing is shooting for 1700 and usually ending up around 1850.  Maybe I need to go back to 1500 which what I was eating when I was losing weight at a healthy clip back in 2010.   But my dilemma is that I wasn't able to sustain that behavior.  Does 200 or 250 calories really make a difference?  Not sure really but I guess I'll find out Saturday.  All I'm sure of is that I want to lose weight and I want to lose it as fast as possible.

I know it's a pitfall to start dropping daily calories because it will likely throw my metabolic rate into starvation mode but I feel like I need to do something to get things going.  I've been getting a little walking in just about every day but it's not more that 10 minutes per session.  I need to step the exercise up.

My concern is that we're coming into the summer months and that means traveling for summer baseball.  I love it but it brings with it constant food decisions because due to timing we have to eat on the road a lot.  It's mainly dinner choices because usually the games are over in the evening, we're hungry and a hour or so away from home.   This season there won't be any over night trips so that will limit restaurant eating.  The reality though is that I have to get use to making good choices when eating out as well.  I can always pack a cooler!

It's really amazing to me that I have to think so much about food.  But I guess it's a good thing that I'm planning meals and eating in a sensible fashion.   I have to admit though.. it is a grind.

ETL